The World According to kcillini77

November 26, 2007

Pouring it on


When it rains it pours.

Everything happens in threes.

Well, here we go… in the span of the three days since Thanksgiving:

1) Furnace goes out… could be fixed to function for $500, but also has cracks in the heat exchanger meaning if we continue to operate the furnace family could die in the night from CO poisoning. Family got to spend 3 nights at the in-laws, and I’m home from work now typing as our brand new furnace that I don’t have the money for is installed.

2) Jen’s car has been leaking coolant for a couple weeks. Assumed it was a cracked hose and topped it off a couple of times. Finally got up under it yesterday and found it’s not a cracked hose. Don’t know what it is, but have an appointment to take it in to a shop tomorrow. My pessimist brain has already determined that they’ll probably tell me it’s a crack in the engine block and I pretty much need to buy a new car. Which I certainly don’t have the money for.

3) Brinton woke up from a nap yesterday with a 103.2 degree fever. For those of you without kids, they would send us home from the emergency room if we had taken him in – they don’t get too anxious about fevers in young kids under about 105, but another thing to add to the stress. Oh, and we did take him to see the doctor today – which means a copay – and a prescription. Which I have no money for anymore. See (1) and (2) above.

Anyway, here I sit in a house full of things with a family that loves me waiting to come home when the heat returns and complaining about how rough I have it because for pretty much the first time in my life I have some uncertainty about how I’m going to pay for something I need. And I’m reminded of all the people that do not have what I have and that don’t have people to love them and I feel selfish. And blessed. And undeserving. And angry with myself for my lack of faith. And stressed out. And fat. I ate too much this week.

There’s a lesson in here somewhere. Comment if you find it.

May 8, 2007

The Need to be Needed

Filed under: Baby,Parenting — kcillini77 @ 10:34 pm

Recently Brinton has entered the separation anxiety phase. When we leave him with someone else he cries with an expectation of our return. I strongly believe he needs to learn to be taken care of by others, so it doesn’t pain me to leave him at the nursery at church or with a babysitter. But if we leave him in another room at a friend’s house with someone else and he begins interrupting by endless crying we have to intervene. And I’ve noticed that there’s something intoxicating about the power to calm his cries down. The feeling of being needed is addictive, so I can understand why some parents incessantly come to the defense of their kids. I think that even at the age of one, it’s something I need to fight, because if I get addicted now, it will be too easy to try to fight his battles for him later. Obviously I need to come to his rescue if he’s really in trouble, and I need to shower love on him at times every day. But even at this age he and I both need to learn that I can’t always rescue him from situations he deems uncomfortable. I just wish it was easier. Any thoughts?

April 25, 2007

How to Screw Up Your Children

Filed under: America,Christianity,Family,Parenting — kcillini77 @ 11:06 pm

Not much of my own insight lately, but here is an article that I found to be good food for thought.

How Religious Parents Royally Screw Up Their Children by Michael Spencer

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