The World According to kcillini77

May 8, 2007

The Need to be Needed

Filed under: Baby,Parenting — kcillini77 @ 10:34 pm

Recently Brinton has entered the separation anxiety phase. When we leave him with someone else he cries with an expectation of our return. I strongly believe he needs to learn to be taken care of by others, so it doesn’t pain me to leave him at the nursery at church or with a babysitter. But if we leave him in another room at a friend’s house with someone else and he begins interrupting by endless crying we have to intervene. And I’ve noticed that there’s something intoxicating about the power to calm his cries down. The feeling of being needed is addictive, so I can understand why some parents incessantly come to the defense of their kids. I think that even at the age of one, it’s something I need to fight, because if I get addicted now, it will be too easy to try to fight his battles for him later. Obviously I need to come to his rescue if he’s really in trouble, and I need to shower love on him at times every day. But even at this age he and I both need to learn that I can’t always rescue him from situations he deems uncomfortable. I just wish it was easier. Any thoughts?


  1. Wow, great question. Unfortunately I have no advice really, considering we are struggling with the same thing with our newborn. Let him cry or rescue, that is the question. You’re so right in that he needs to learn to be able to be in uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations. That will lead to a more pleasant and well-rounded child, teenager, adult, etc. Sheesh, we have lots of responsibility, don’t we?

    Comment by Erin — May 9, 2007 @ 6:39 pm | Reply

  2. I’m not a parent…but dang, this was a great post. Even now, as these kids here are becoming more dependant on us; I think that I need to remind myself that they are not ours, but Gods. Thank you for that reminder.

    Comment by kristiapplesauce — May 10, 2007 @ 1:40 pm | Reply

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